The very first step that Jesse and I took to gain control of our money was to partially combine our finances. According to Dave Ramsey, you should never ever do this until you get married. However, he would also probably say that you shouldn’t live together before marriage. I tend to disagree. So shortly after we started renting a house together in 2012, we opened a joint checking account. We totaled up our rent and monthly bills, and each contributed half of our costs into this account each month. We also chose to keep our separate personal checking accounts (another choice that Dave would disagree with, he says once you’re married, all funds should be combined). Some people have found that combining everything is the best option for them. Some interesting thoughts on that option, here. While I can see the potential benefits to the “what’s mine is yours” philosophy, we’ve found that having personal spending accounts works well for us. This way, we contribute equally to be sure our living expenses are covered, as well as the shared savings funds that we’ve set up. We pay our individual student loans separately out of our personal accounts. Beyond that, we both have our own hard-earned spending money to do with whatever we please. Sometimes I will buy new clothes or get a haircut and color that costs $140, and Jesse may splurge on a video game or upgrade some parts on his bike. I should also say that we communicate very well, so it’s not like we are buying things secretly and avoiding financial transparency. We have just found that it works for us to have personal accounts that we each have control over, we respect each other and don’t have to question the other’s purchases.

For the majority of our money, however, we share accounts and financial goals. Here are some of the things we’ve done with our shared finances that I would recommend for anyone in a long-term relationship: